So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
