U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
People in love make me want to vomit
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How does one acquire holy water?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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