then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
