If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
