I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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