Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i think i just lost a toe
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
