what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize