Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
