Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
