Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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