I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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