I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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