No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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