In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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