let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm at about main and main street
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
