please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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