we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
