tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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