Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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