The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My penis needs a shock collar
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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