I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
