okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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