i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
