Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
