What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
