I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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