I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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