All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
