I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
