well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
