Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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