Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
