passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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