Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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