His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
