new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
