I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
