It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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