I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize