I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
