I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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