so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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