i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
