there's paper in my vomit.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
