dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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