2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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