i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.