So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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