i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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