Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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