I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
