is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
