I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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