but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
