guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
